Domestic violence against women

Domestic violence against women:
Domestic violence is a serious threat to many women. It is essential to recognise patterns and signs of an abusive relationship. It is crucial to seek help and understand how to leave a dangerous situation.

Your partner apologizes and says the hurtful behavior won’t happen again — but you fear it will. At times you wonder whether you’re imagining the abuse, yet the emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If this sounds familiar, you might be experiencing domestic violence.

Recognize domestic violence
Domestic violence — also called intimate partner violence — occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse. Abuse by a partner can happen to anyone, but domestic violence is most often directed toward women. Domestic violence can happen in heterosexual and same-sex relationships.

Abusive relationships always involve an imbalance of power and control. An abuser uses intimidating, hurtful words and behaviors to control a partner.
It might not be easy to identify domestic violence at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. You might be experiencing domestic violence if you’re in a relationship with someone who:
• Calls you names, insults you or puts you down
• Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school or seeing family members or friends
• Tries to control how you spend money, where you go, what medicines you take or what you wear
• Acts jealous or possessive or constantly accuses you of being unfaithful
• Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs
• Threatens you with violence or a weapon
• Hits, kicks, shoves, slaps, chokes or otherwise hurts you, your children or your pets
• Forces you to have sex or engage in sexual acts against your will
• Blames you for his or her violent behavior or tells you that you deserve it

If you’re in a same-sex relationship or if you’re bisexual or transgender, you might also be experiencing abuse if you’re in a relationship with someone who:
• Threatens to tell friends, family, colleagues or community members your sexual orientation or gender identity
• Tells you that authorities won’t help you because of your sexuality or gender identity
• Justifies abuse by questioning your sexuality or gender identity

Pregnancy, children, family members and domestic violence
Sometimes domestic violence begins and progresses during pregnancy. It puts your health and the baby’s health at risk. The danger continues after the baby is born.
Even if your child isn’t abused, simply witnessing domestic violence can be harmful. Children who grow up in abusive homes are more likely to be abused and have behavioral problems. As adults, they’re more likely to become abusers or think abuse is a normal part of relationships.

You might worry that telling the truth will further endanger you, your child or other family members. You fear that it might break up your family. But seeking help is the best way to protect yourself and your loved ones.

Break the cycle
If you’re in an abusive situation, you might recognize this pattern:
• Your abuser threatens violence.
• Your abuser strikes.
• Your abuser apologizes, promises to change and offers gifts.
• The cycle repeats itself.
The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the greater the physical and emotional toll. You might become depressed and anxious, or you might feel helpless or paralyzed.

You may also wonder if the abuse is your fault — a common point of confusion among survivors of domestic abuse that may make it more difficult to seek help.

Don’t take the blame

You may not be ready to seek help because you believe you’re at least partially to blame for the abuse in the relationship. If you’re having trouble identifying what’s happening, take a step back and look at larger patterns in your relationship. Then review the signs of domestic violence. In an abusive relationship, the person who routinely uses these behaviors is the abuser. The person on the receiving end is being abused.

Create a safety plan

Leaving an abuser can be dangerous. Consider taking these precautions:
• Call a women’s shelter or domestic violence hotline for advice. Make the call at a safe time — when the abuser isn’t around — or from a friend’s house or other safe location.
• Pack an emergency bag that includes items you’ll need when you leave, such as extra clothes and keys. Leave the bag in a safe place. Keep important personal papers, money and prescription medications handy so that you can take them with you on short notice.
• Know exactly where you’ll go and how you’ll get there.

Protect your communication and location

An abuser can use technology to monitor your telephone and online communication and to track your location. If you’re concerned for your safety, seek help. To maintain your privacy:
• Use phones cautiously. Your abuser might intercept calls and listen to your conversations. An abusive partner might use caller ID, check your cellphone or search your phone billing records to see your call and texting history.
• Use your home computer cautiously. Your abuser might use spyware to monitor your emails and the websites you visit. Consider using a computer at work, at the library or at a friend’s house to seek help.
• Turn off GPS devices. Your abuser might use a GPS device on your vehicle or your phone to pinpoint your location.
• Frequently change your email password. Choose passwords that would be difficult for your abuser to guess.
• Clear your viewing history. Follow your browser’s instructions to clear any record of websites or graphics you’ve viewed.

Where to find help

In an emergency, call 000 or your local emergency number or law enforcement agency. The following resources also can help:

National domestic, family and sexual violence counselling, information and support service-
Kids helpline-
Lifeline- 13 11 14 Crisis support, suicide prevention